Osama eat your heart out

''He threatens and taunts like a deranged child, strutting the desert like an animal on the prowl, and dressing like an extra on the set of his own gaudy war.

''But who really is this man who has caused so much fear and outrage in the international political scene, who has made terrorism his creed and practices it with deadly consistency?

''...whose messianic vision and ruthless fanaticism threaten world stability?''

Is it...?

Nope.

''This mad dog of the Middle East.''
--Ronald Regan

Are they talking about...?

Nuh-uh.

''He is one hundred percent sick and possessed of the devil.''
--Anwar Sadat

One of these guys...?

No, infidel fools.

It is the one and only Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya.

From Harry Gregory's superbly lurid 1986 bio of ''number one anti-American thug'' and ''Tripoli Terror Merchant,'' Muammar al-Gaddafi.

Trev Terrific

Meet Trev.

My mum, bless her, suggested Trev start his own blog: ''Trev Today.''

''Trev flew into our home and into our hearts...'' she said.

Trev is a very sweet birdie, but I can't see him stretching his day -- seed, tweet, seed, tweet tweet, mirror, peck, seed, seed -- into a blog.